I really am sorry

for sometimes overthinking

…..

I’m trying to right a ship

that isn’t close to sinking

…..

I wonder in the dark

as I wander in the dark,

it’s night in here, like an evening with no stars

I make you out in the murk anyway

the sound of my fears mixed with distant cars

…..

and it echoes in my head;

all I will ever want to be

is everything you will ever need

…..

with every breath

I can’t help but worry sometimes

when I’ve come so far, inside and on the map,

to be here and now at your side

…..

“I’m sorry” is a phrase often spoken

when I am trying to fix

something that isn’t broken

…..

and I know

tears fall too easily from my eyes

I sometimes hold on too tight,

tighter than I realize

…..

There’s a clock ticking somewhere

I hear the ceiling fan so soothingly spin

as I softly stroke your hair in the dark

hesitant to wake you by touching your skin

…..

with every breath,

I am sometimes very haunted

by the image of you being gone

because you’re all I ever wanted

…..

I’m not going anywhere

I need to keep your hand in mine

that’s why I apologize

if it seems like I’m too near all the time

…..

Please forgive me

for the invading smile

when I know you’re not looking

but you catch me once in a while

…..

with every breath

I am deeply and harshly aware

of how lucky I am

that you’re lying next to me there

…..

and I mix the occasional apology

with displays of affection

and terms of endearment

that I toss in your direction

…..

You’re the one thing that’s always been there

circling outside my knowledge

since the day I was born

I’ve been waiting on a metaphysical bridge

…..

with every breath,

I realize that what we haven’t had

is what we were born for

and it’s here now, and I’m glad

…..

and you’ve never stopped

giving me soft, whispered, and  gentle relief

when I open up the closet door

and you see my confidence removed by a thief

…..

so I guess I’ll apologize

a whispered “Sorry” once more

because I’m slowly learning

there’s nothing to be sorry for.

 

 

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