Archive for April, 2012


Amber

Hair so dark

when it hangs down it leaves a canopy,

and I swear to God I see stars in it….

Eyes  so dark

they somehow catch and reflect light within,

and I swear to God there’s peace within them

…….

So dark, but her smile, it brightens the world

…….

and the skin has an amber tone

smooth to the touch

laughter that brings tingles to my own

sometimes just short of too much.

…….

she gives of herself

and she gives herself to me

I see and feel this beauty

I wish I could make her see

…….

That I know what indescribable means now.

crushed up paper balls, and pens without ink

trying to show her how I see her

til there’s no more words that I can think…..

……..

So the deep breaths I take

when she moves just a little bit

when her foot touches mine

……

when fingernails dance

on my wrist, where her name is borne,

when her eyes roll to the right

when her smile brings the room to light

the deep breaths I take

will have to be words enough

…….

“The best picture ever taken of the most glorious sunset ever seen

doesn’t hold a candle to you…..”  Rob Will,  August 2011…..

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The Warmth

 

Saw it from her first words

Intuition validated

so much empathy

need to help

but I didn’t see the desire she felt for me

I didn’t see what it could be,

though I had it myself, emanating from every pore

Though I felt what she was

I didn’t feel what she wanted

So damn smart

So damn aware

unless it’s right in front of my face, like the messages, the notes, the things she did that she didn’t do for anyone else.  From a 1,000 miles away.

So, indeed I saw the warmth

just didn’t know it was only for me.

…..

Looking back, I can’t breathe.

How do you say thank you

without saying thank you

because I’ve said it so many times before

……

It drives me crazy, turns my stomach a little

because it seems as though I’m saying things

I’ve said a million times, with more in store

……..

But, goddamn it, I’m not

…….

For a man with a million words

It looks like I’m coming back to the same 2 or 3

But that’s if you’re listening

and failing to see

…….

oh, and it’s frustrating

make no mistake

trying to make her see what she thinks she sees

No fate but what I make

……

(that fate’s in my own mind)….she wants me to let myself off the hook again

…….

I create my own damnations that haven’t started flaming yet

and she forgives me

before I burn

………

Why do I make it so hard on myself

when she makes it so easy

…….

Because she roots for me

and she lets the little things go

…….

Once there was dirt under my nails

from filling it all in

she’s washed my hands

…….   I just need to stop making them dirty again.

 

I think I know now, that I need not fear my own destruction

because it doesn’t exist in her mind

I may not be perfect, and she knows it

okay with her, needs to be okay with me this time

……….

Just another reason among many

No doubts here, just unfiltered truth

because I have to reach into my bag of words

and find another way to say thank you

……

because she’s saved me again.

When She Laughs

 

I made her laugh

and she did it quietly

over the phone a million times

……

But when she’s near me

and I make her laugh now

it damn near makes me cry

……

because it’s still quiet like a whisper

that she does with her whole body

But if I do that in her presence

she wraps her arms around me

…….

and she says she’s never laughed like she does with me

and that fact would make me sad

if it didn’t make me so damn happy

…….

She holds me like she’s thanking me

for drawing out the sounds

that I only heard over the phone before

……

and I can’t wait to hear it again

her sweet laughter spinning around

she crouches over, she smiles so hard,

and I can’t ask for anything more

…..

I can only put my face

in her hair as she laughs in my chest

at the things I say, the voices I make

never mind the troubles,

forget all the rest

……

Because this is what I was meant to do

currency is that grin,

that “you’re funny”

that comes out broken up

…..

She pays me in full

and I am so wealthy

oh, how “you’re funny”

fills my cup.

Hints

No matter what happens,

We’re going to be alright

because we’ve been meant to be

since you saw your first day

and i felt my first night

……

Nothing so obvious

or as noticeable

as the ink on my wrist

but when we looked back

and found the subtle links

my lips ached to be kissed

…..

and when you respond

to the touch I give

with lightning strikes of your own

you’ve laid the path

that’s right next to mine

We can’t breathe, and this we’ve never known

……

How many ways

have we found

just misses, similarities, and common grounds

I’ve been amazed

as we’ve spun round

sharp breaths, uncontrolled motion, and burning down

…..

There’s passion in the knowing

heat that starts glowing

when I think of how close we came to being

It excites me greatly

as we’ve spoken lately

of the unraveled mysteries we’re seeing

…..

We’ve loved each other since before we’ve met

and craved each other at first sight

I can get shaky, short of breath, and dizzy

thinking of sparks of our matches struck in the night

…..

And knowing we almost crossed paths before

or at the very least should have most certainly

The road signs of commonalities mark our past

…..

Somehow cements my reaching for you

…..

Despite the “short” time that we’ve been together

I feel like I’ve indeed known you forever

and our sweat and cries break down the facts

…..

Baby Girl,…. your grace,….. we’re far from new

I’m not used to it

Unfamiliar

is a word I have to use

because I have not known

…..

these

weak knees

this

strong faith

both

nervousness and confidence in one

…..

She’s

a person

constantly thinking and doing for you because you are who you are.

She’s

a woman

showing you that you’re who you never thought you could be again

…..

 

Now I see someone wanting to prop me up

putting salve on my burns

and bandaging my cuts

cleaning me up

and loving me in the dark

…..

where the nightmares are,

or where they once were

before her

……

She holds me like a specimen

that needs to be a diamond

a piece that used to be coal

but she sees the shine that wasn’t there.

…..

and she applies beautiful pressure

peace, passion, and patience all in one

…….

she sees the shine.

and she brought it back.

967

 

set out just after noon
electronic devices, fourteen hour swoon
waiting for dusk to take the squint away

and i still wouldn’t stop

because you’ve been 967 miles away for too damn long

and I’ve held you close with my words,
mouthpieces, keyboards, and my voice
waiting for time to take the longing away

and I never stopped

but you’d been 967 miles away for too damn long

and you came to me when the cold was hammer hard
the three best days of my goddamn life
and I waited for time to take the pain away

and I wouldn’t be stopped

for you were 967 miles away again, and it was too damn long

so the fates conspired with and against me
pushing me forward with a stab in the back
and I ran to you like a thief in the night
waiting for the miles to be spit out behind me
to run into that garage door to your arms

to feel it again
as you took all the pain away

and I came for you, eyes piercing, body pushing forward, knuckles gripping the vinyl of the steering wheel

and I never stopped

for you’re no longer 967 miles away,
it took so damn long
but I’m here now, and I will protect you,
and hold you

kiss your tears as your prevent mine

20 months of wanting, and I belong to you…..

967 miles gone.

 

She’s like spun sugar in my hands

and I ruffle at her touch

there are times I can’t handle it

 

because it tastes too good

 

Oh, I have a sweet tooth

and she’s like candy

that I can suck on and roll around on my tongue

 

because it tastes too good

 

There’s no way to explain

when something’s so delectable

you roll your eyes as it dances on your palette

 

because the texture’s right

like licorice or a chocolate egg

 

And she’s that way

hot cocoa on winter day

 

smooth and warm and sweet

like a piece of boston creme pie

or a warm apple turnover

 

that doesn’t know it’s irresistible

 

and she doesn’t know it either

unless I tell her

 

because she’s humble and delicious

 

Coming within a couple years

and just a fluttering of miles

breathing across the distance, six degrees of separation

and a draw that can’t be explained

 

 

We almost breathed the same air

 

 

20 years later what was meant to be

won’t be denied under any circumstances

 

 

I came across the distance, without hesitation

and a pull that was strong enough to cause pain

And now we breathe the same air

and share the same space

 

 

and I feel like the one that was never meant to be

has gotten a second chance with her grace

 

 

The Universe may fix it’s mistakes

even if they seem small in the grandness of space

just two souls that with situations they lived

hoping that the cosmos had more to give

 

 

and I was closer to the edge with less to hold on to

but her hand was stronger than it had any right

to be

 

and held on to me.

 

The sun rises everyday again.

Happy birthday

I never thanked a period of time

for anything it’s ever done.

They’re just the calendars way

of signifying the trip around the sun

But, just now I can easily say

my outlook has turned anew

I can look at the weeks and months gone by

and thank today for you

…..

You’re birthday’s here again

and I’m glad to celebrate it with you

holding your hand and looking in your eyes

believing the reason for gifts is true

I never held much admiration for the stars

or the timekeeping marked everyday by the news

but the need for a watch is more important

because I am thanking today for you

…..

Happy birthday, my love

The day that is today in a year gone by

Was when the earth saw you as brand new

……

Happy birthday, my sweet baby girl….

The day that is today in the here and now

I am thanking it with a smile for you

 

…..

I love you, Frances Marie.