dusk is around the corner

and I said goodbye

missing her before the phone even clicked

stumbling toward the bed, after starting that playlist

can’t decide if it soothes or makes me sick

dimly lit dark,  fading scent of vanilla

still sweating from her voice

missing her harder as I hit the sheets and the chords start

I can make out the textured tiles through Skunk Anansie,  one or two missing

she had looked at them once from the crook of my arm

and it still smells like her in here, I can see her missing things in the corner

hoping to fall asleep before that damn song starts

The one that tells it all with a jab to the heart

It makes me simultaneously smile and cry

to know I love someone this much that it hurts this bad

to remember when she was here

laughing with me, crying with me, sleeping in a ball in my lap

I believe there’s a part of me still there

a residual haunting

I’m walking the floor up there, Christmas still in the air

happy as hell, and sad as heaven


like I was then

Dedicated to a series of moments, and my still undying love for her.
When my knees knew the floor, my eyes new patience and tears.

When we both struggled from opposite ends of the country. Surviving it thanks to the pull.

And we both made it through.