dusk is around the corner
and I said goodbye
missing her before the phone even clicked
stumbling toward the bed, after starting that playlist
can’t decide if it soothes or makes me sick
dimly lit dark, fading scent of vanilla
still sweating from her voice
missing her harder as I hit the sheets and the chords start
I can make out the textured tiles through Skunk Anansie, one or two missing
she had looked at them once from the crook of my arm
and it still smells like her in here, I can see her missing things in the corner
hoping to fall asleep before that damn song starts
The one that tells it all with a jab to the heart
It makes me simultaneously smile and cry
to know I love someone this much that it hurts this bad
to remember when she was here
laughing with me, crying with me, sleeping in a ball in my lap
I believe there’s a part of me still there
a residual haunting
I’m walking the floor up there, Christmas still in the air
happy as hell, and sad as heaven
like I was then
Dedicated to a series of moments, and my still undying love for her.
When my knees knew the floor, my eyes new patience and tears.
When we both struggled from opposite ends of the country. Surviving it thanks to the pull.
And we both made it through.